What is family? A choice,
a commitment, a bond to protect

Family is more than bloodlines and tradition. Forging your definition takes courage;
Protecting it requires intention. Explore how to do both.

 

Choosing family: the defiance of Carlo Maggi

In 16th-century Venice, Carlo Maggi, a nobleman and agent of the Serenissima Republic, made a choice that defied convention. After years of service to his city, Carlo was captured and imprisoned on the island of Cyprus. During his captivity, his wife gave birth to a son, Antonio.

Whispers spread. Could a child born in Carlo’s absence truly claim the Maggi name? In a society where honour and lineage defined status, such doubts spelled potential ruin.

Upon his return, Carlo faced a choice: reject the boy to appease public judgment, or embrace him. In recognizing Antonio, he risked scandal but secured his son’s future, his wife’s honour, and his family’s standing. To make this choice permanent and undeniable, Carlo commissioned a family portrait by Jacopo Tintoretto, one of Venice’s most esteemed painters.

The painting depicts three generations of Maggi.

On the left, there is Giovanni Francesco Maggi, seated with dignity. Carlo Antonio stands next to him. And beside him, the young Antonio, safe under Carlo’s protective hand. Giovanni passes Carlo a paper, a symbolic gesture signifying the transfer of authority, responsibility, and legacy. This portrayal cements Antonio’s place in the Maggi family, ensuring its honour and status endure through generations.

Today, Carlo Maggi’s decision invites reflection: who do we choose to call family, and how do we protect those bonds?

 

The notion of family: an evolving idea

Anthropologist Claude Lévi-Strauss observed that kinship systems—how we define and organize family—are not merely biological. They are intricate social constructs designed for survival, strategy, and cohesion. These systems reflect the bonds we choose to form, nurture, and protect.

History offers countless examples of this flexibility. In ancient Rome, the pater familias wielded authority over his biological children, but also adopted heirs and dependents integrated into the household.

In Japan, adult adoption ensured family enterprises continued by selecting capable successors.

In India, joint families pooled resources across generations, creating networks of mutual support, while in the Middle East, tribal affiliations extended kinship beyond immediate relatives, reinforcing loyalty and protection within vast networks.

These practices show that family can be composed of bonds that go beyond. Yet, while our hearts recognize these bonds instantly, the law often lags behind, anchored in traditional definitions.

Family also encompasses multiple dimensions that shape our lives and legacies:

  • Physical security through care, shelter, and mutual support—extending beyond biology to adopted children, step-siblings, and chosen partners
  • Emotional growth through love, empathy, and healing, where friends and mentors often become family through shared experiences
  • Intellectual development by sharing knowledge across generations, through parental guidance, sibling exchanges, or chosen family members
  • Shared purpose through contributions to philanthropy, enterprise, or stewardship fosters connections that can feel like an extended family, with bonds formed through shared goals and community impact
  • Cultural or social influences, such as social expectations, parental pressure, or cultural traditions, positioning family as an honour to society rather than a matter of individual choice

As family structures continue to evolve, ensuring these bonds are recognized and protected becomes essential. The challenge lies in bridging the gap between these diverse realities and the legal systems that still rely on traditional definitions.

 

Bridging the gaps: protecting chosen families

While family bonds have evolved, the law in major parts of the world remains tethered to tradition. Though these legal systems carry logic, history, and wisdom, they often prioritize biological relationships, formal marriages, and conventional family roles, leaving modern families vulnerable.

For example: a long-term partner may have no say in medical decisions, a stepchild may be excluded from inheritance, or a trusted friend may lack authority in a crisis.

This disconnect reflects a broader struggle: balancing the stability of long-standing legal norms with the reality of diverse, chosen relationships. While laws aim to provide order and predictability, they often fail to account for the richness of human connection—bonds forged through commitment, love, and shared purpose.

The good news is that legal tools exist to bridge this gap.

Trusts, wills, healthcare proxies, and guardianship agreements can formalize these chosen bonds. These instruments ensure personal choices are respected, even when societal definitions lag behind. They allow you to say, unequivocally: “This is my family.”

 

Aligning choice with law: protecting the family you choose

Legal tools and family constitutions are vital for protecting diverse family bonds. They ensure physical needs are met, emotional connections are honoured, knowledge is passed on, and shared values endure. Thoughtful wealth planning and family governance enable our families—inherited or chosen— to thrive across generations.

1. Healthcare proxies, living wills, and powers of attorney: protecting decisions in crisis

In times of crisis, legal tools like healthcare proxies, living wills, and powers of attorney ensure your wishes are respected, both for medical care and financial matters.

  • A healthcare proxy (or medical power of attorney) designates a trusted partner, friend, or chosen family member to make healthcare decisions on your behalf if you are unable to do so. This proxy can respond to real-time situations, ensuring your values guide critical choices.
  • A living will provides specific instructions about your medical treatment preferences, particularly for end-of-life care. It can outline your wishes regarding life support, resuscitation, and pain management, incorporating any ethical or spiritual considerations.
  • A durable power of attorney allows a trusted person to manage your financial affairs and assets if you become incapacitated. This includes handling investments, paying bills, and making other financial decisions on your behalf.

Together, these tools bridge personal relationships with legal authority, ensuring that trust, commitment, and love—not rigid definitions—guide both medical and financial decisions during difficult times.

 

2. Guardianship agreements: ensuring care for the vulnerable

Guardianship agreements designate trusted individuals to care for those who cannot advocate for themselves—such as children, stepchildren, elderly relatives, or adults with special needs.

In blended or chosen families, these agreements can recognize step-parents, non-biological caregivers, or close friends as legal guardians. This minimizes disputes and ensures your personal wishes are honoured.
Guardianship agreements provide clarity, security, and peace of mind, reflecting your commitment to protect those who rely on you.

 

3. Wills: declaring legacy and commitment

A will clarifies your intentions, specifying who you want to benefit and how they should be cared for. It allows you to include partners outside of marriage, non-biological children, or friends who have become like family.

Without a will, default inheritance laws often overlook the complexities of modern relationships.

Wills are sometimes subject to probate and require an executor to ensure smooth administration, particularly when legal heirs would otherwise need to act jointly. For estates spanning multiple jurisdictions, wills can add complexity due to varying rules of probate, devolution, and, in some cases, forced heirship rights.

While a well-drafted will can address these challenges, it is primarily focused on the immediate distribution of assets after death, making it less suited for long-term or multi-generational planning compared to a trust.
A will may also convey the why behind your choices, reflecting your values, principles, and lessons. Drafting a will is a profound act of recognition — a way to say, “You matter to me, and I will protect you.”

 

4. Trusts: protecting those who matter most

Trusts are powerful and flexible declarations of intention. Unlike wills, they can provide ongoing financial security for loved ones who may not be recognized by traditional inheritance laws—whether a stepchild, a long-term partner, or a close friend. Trusts can incorporate your values and hopes, balancing the needs of biological and non-biological family members while reducing potential conflicts.

For families with multiple branches or blended relationships, trusts can create separate estates for different family units, ensuring fairness and transparency. They also offer long-term planning advantages, reflecting culturally specific family and inheritance traditions, and safeguarding the resources needed for loved ones to thrive.

Beyond trusts, other fiduciary instruments like family foundations, life insurance policies, and even dedicated investment funds can play a complementary role in securing a safety net for those who matter most. Life insurance, for example, provides a straightforward way to allocate financial protection to dependents, ensuring liquidity for immediate needs while trusts handle longer-term stewardship.

 

5. Family constitutions: articulating values and governance

A family constitution goes beyond wealth distribution. It defines principles, communication norms, and conflict-resolution processes, balancing individual freedom with collective responsibility. While not inherently a legally binding tool, a family constitution gains strength when implemented alongside legal instruments grounded in family, inheritance, and civil law.

This framework supports modern families—whether traditional, blended, or chosen—by providing a cohesive approach to family, business, and investment governance. A well-crafted family constitution can incorporate stories, ethical guidance, and shared visions for the future. It ensures each generation upholds the family’s identity and values while offering clarity on decision-making processes, roles, and responsibilities across all areas of family wealth and enterprise.

By aligning family dynamics, business interests, and investment strategies, the constitution helps create stability, purpose, and long-term success.

These legal tools are modern declarations of who matters most to us. They affirm the families we create and reflect the many dimensions of our relationships, whether physical, emotional, intellectual, or purposeful. They bridge the gap between evolving relationships and traditional legal frameworks.

By thoughtfully integrating these instruments into your wealth planning, you safeguard the bonds that have defined your life, building a legacy of intention, love, and meaning.

 

Building a future of recognition and protection

Carlo Maggi’s act was immortalized on canvas—a lasting declaration of his commitment. Today, our declarations may not be captured in oil and brushstrokes, but they can be just as enduring. Through thoughtful reflection and careful planning, we can ensure that our families—whether bound by blood, choice, or shared purpose—are recognized, protected, and celebrated.

In this, we are both architects and stewards. We design the structures that protect our families, and safeguard the values that give those structures meaning. The choices we make today shape the foundations for tomorrow.

By embracing the fluidity of modern relationships and the solidity of legal tools, we create families that are resilient, intentional, and lasting.

After all, family is a choice. Family is a commitment. Family is a legacy. Make it count.

 

Your family: a personal reflection

  1. Your family portrait: If you were to create your own family portrait, who would stand by your side? Whose future would you safeguard through a gesture of protection and acknowledgment?
  2. Your family bonds: Who matters most to you? Who do you trust to carry your values forward? Reflect on the unique needs of each member—children who need educational support, elders who require care, or partners who rely on shared resources. How can thoughtful planning help protect those you cherish?
  3. Aligning your intentions with your legal tools: Does your wealth plan reflect your chosen family? Are your loved ones protected, regardless of legal or biological status? How can trusts, wills, and healthcare proxies bridge the gap between personal choices and legal recognition, ensuring your intentions are honored?
  4. Creating a living legacy: What values, stories, and lessons do you want to pass on? What legal tools (e.g. ethical wills, family constitutions, and governance structures) can preserve your family’s identity, purpose, and legacy?