The unseen forces that drive us

Imagine a handful of scenes from modern life.

You spend hours on social media, flitting from one post to the next, in the hope that you will feel inspired, connected, or even validated. You check your bank balance or latest portfolio returns – even though you opened the app this morning. You reach for another handful of potato chips, even though you are not hungry.

These are everyday moments, but they are not random. They reveal something ancient within us — a primal drive that refuses to be satisfied, hardwired into our brains to keep us seeking, striving, and consuming.

This drive is closely tied to the brain’s dopamine system, which rewards us with fleeting “highs” for achieving or acquiring something new. Once this burst of satisfaction fades, we are left craving the next hit. Companies design their algorithms, advertisements, and products to exploit this cycle, keeping us hooked in an endless loop of wanting more — even when it doesn’t lead to lasting happiness.

In our prehistoric past, this mechanism served a critical purpose. In a world of scarcity, survival depended on staying perpetually alert, always striving for “just a little more” — more food, more shelter, more safety. Those who stopped striving often didn’t survive. But in today’s world of abundance, this same drive has different consequences, leaving us restless and unsettled. The predators may be gone, but the whisper remains: “it’s not enough”.

 

Why “enough” feels out of reach

Understanding this cycle starts with uncovering the forces that drive us. Neuroscience shows that much of what guides our thoughts, emotions, and behaviours operates beneath our awareness. These unconscious forces, shaped by evolution and early experiences, silently steer our decisions.

Allan Schore, a leading psychotherapist and neuroscientist, explains that the right hemisphere of the brain, which develops earlier than the left, plays a central role in processing emotional information and self-regulation. Early attachment experiences shape how we interpret safety and respond to uncertainty, creating patterns that influence us long into adulthood.

While Schore’s work focuses on emotional regulation, it provides a compelling lens through which to view our relationship with wealth. If our sense of safety is formed early in life, it follows that our unconscious need to seek security — whether through material accumulation, status or financial growth — may stem from these deep-rooted patterns.

This insight aligns with the ideas of philosopher and psychoanalyst Erich Fromm, who argued that modern society’s obsession with accumulation — from possessions to symbols of success — is driven by deeper psychological needs and existential anxieties.

Fromm distinguished between having and being: the former defines self-worth through ownership and acquisition, while the latter is rooted in relationships, creativity, and personal growth. When wealth becomes a substitute for security or validation, it reinforces a cycle of striving that never satisfies. In this state, our focus shifts from who we are to what we own, mistaking possessions for identity and status for fulfilment.

 

Urhunger: the ancient hunger that never ends, and the brain’s SEEKING system

The philosopher Hermann Keyserling explained this dynamic with the term “Urhunger”. In other words, the primordial hunger that propels humans to consume, accumulate, and strive endlessly, even when material needs are met. This force, as emotional and psychological as it is physical, reflects the complexities of the human condition.

Neuroscientist Jaak Panksepp’s discovery of the SEEKING system offers a biological explanation for this phenomenon. This dopamine-driven system fuels curiosity and motivation, driving us to explore and pursue. But it does not deliver satisfaction — it is a system of wanting, not having. Even when goals are achieved, the SEEKING system keeps us in a state of restlessness, always seeking the next thing.

This ancient drive finds a modern outlet in our relationship with wealth. In a world where material success is celebrated (and grants individuals power), wealth often becomes a stand-in for safety, security, and identity. The same instincts that once ensured survival now drive the accumulation of wealth far beyond necessity. Yet even those with significant wealth frequently feel it is not enough.

Part of this dissatisfaction stems from the role of social comparison and competition. For many, the desire for more is less about meeting material needs and more about measuring financial standing against others. This creates a cycle where fulfilment becomes elusive, as the benchmarks for success continually shift. Feelings of inadequacy, fueled by societal pressures and personal expectations, often overshadow genuine contentment. When financial growth is treated as the ultimate measure of progress, status, or control, the relentless pursuit of more can distract from what brings purpose or meaning.

These dynamics perpetuate the illusion that “more” will finally quiet the lingering voice that says, “You’re not safe yet.” By uncovering the ancient mechanisms that keep us striving, we gain the power to ask deeper questions: what are we truly seeking? And could it be that the fulfillment we chase is already within reach, waiting to be discovered in things money cannot buy?

 

Rethinking the pursuit of more—and of never enough

If we are to break free from this cycle, the first step is to pause and reflect: what are we truly seeking when we pursue wealth? Is it a sense of security, validation, or power?

Often, this relentless striving is fueled by a feeling of “not having enough” — whether that is time, meaningful relationships, self-worth, or financial stability. These gaps are shaped by a mix of external pressures and internal expectations that we may not even recognize.

Exploring our emotional relationship with wealth — whether it is driven by fears of scarcity, a desire for recognition, or the pursuit of freedom — can uncover the unconscious forces driving our choices. This awareness creates space for deliberate decisions, allowing us to redefine “enough” as more than a financial target. It enables us to focus our time, strengthen our connections, and contribute to what we value most.

Returning to Panksepp’s insights on the SEEKING system, we find that this dopamine-driven mechanism is not inherently problematic. It fuels our curiosity, motivation, and drive to explore. However, the SEEKING system is built to want, not to have. Once a goal is achieved, dopamine levels drop, and we are propelled towards the next pursuit. Panksepp’s research found that this system thrives on novelty and discovery, revealing a key insight: the deepest satisfaction comes not from accumulating more but from pursuing meaningful and fulfilling goals.

Redirecting the SEEKING system can help us escape the loop. Practices like mindfulness and gratitude reshape our brain’s focus, shifting it from scarcity to abundance and fostering a greater sense of contentment. Engaging Panksepp’s emotional systems, such as CARE (nurturing meaningful relationships, spending quality time with loved ones, or offering support in moments of need) and PLAY (rediscovering the joy of curiosity, creativity, and shared laughter) may bring balance to our lives. These systems can ground us in the present and remind us that fulfillment often lies in the richness of our relationships, and in the moments that make us feel alive.

For entrepreneurs and wealth creators, this could mean focusing financial goals on pursuits that inspire and energise: investing in meaningful ventures, championing causes, or creating opportunities that reflect personal values.

Ultimately, the challenge isn’t to abandon ambition but to channel it toward what truly matters. To direct our energies with intention, recognising what brings genuine joy, and shaping a life that feels authentically ours. By reflecting on our motivations and redefining “enough,” we can transform wealth into a tool for purpose rather than a measure of worth. The shift from restless striving to intentional abundance is within our reach — it begins with defining what truly matters.

 

Finding your enough: questions for reflection

1. Where do you feel “not enough,” and how would you define “enough”? In what areas of your life — wealth, time, relationships, or self-worth — do you feel a sense of absence? What would “enough” look like for you in these areas, and how would reaching it change the way you live?
2. When it comes to finances, do you have a specific number in mind? Is your sense of financial “enough” tied to an absolute figure, or does it shift based on your social circle, lifestyle, or comparisons with others? How do these influences shape your perception of what you need?
3. Are your financial goals serving your broader vision? Do your current goals reflect what you value most — such as family, personal growth, or meaningful contributions? If not, what might you adjust to bring them into alignment?
4. If money were a person, what kind of relationship would you have with it? Would it be a supportive partner, a demanding boss, or something else? How does this relationship reflect your approach to wealth, and what might you change to create a healthier dynamic?
5. What truly fulfils you? Think beyond material success — what activities, relationships, or moments bring you joy and purpose? How might you prioritise these in your daily life?