Embracing the Family Legacy
Cycle to move beyond “Post-Signing Blues”
It’s common for families to experience difficulties after signing a family constitution. By understanding and
embracing these hurdles, they can build resilience to appreciate more fully the journey ahead.
In Decoding Wealth, we aim to explore and unpick the most pressing challenges facing today’s wealth owners and their families, providing comprehensive guidance to navigate through the complexities of wealth planning.
So far in this series, we have explored:
- How the Conduct Formula can help wealth owners create a plan that aligns with their purpose
- How exploring different perspectives leads to purposeful planning
- How a family can align their goals through retreats and constitutions
However, the signing of a constitution is not the end of the journey, but the beginning of a new challenge. How can a family use this new, hard-won governance tool to fortify familial bonds, and steer collective direction?
What seems like a straightforward task is actually complex – after all, a constitution isn’t merely the continuation of an existing family ethos or system. It’s a call for significant, even transformation changes, both in the system, and the behaviours of those it involves.
In our experience, this can often present families with a range of emotional and practical challenges. So much so that we’ve come to recognise this as the “Post-Signing Blues”.
In this article, we’ll provide a roadmap for navigating these challenges. Ultimately, our goal is to help families sustain momentum and strengthen their collective vision and governance.
As part of this, we will introduce our new model: the “Family Legacy Cycle”. Based on our experience working closely with wealth owners and their families, we believe the Family Legacy Cycle accurately maps the intellectual and emotional challenges of the process.
At the same time, we believe the cycle offers a clear strategy to achieve early milestones, make consistent advances, and mitigate potential setbacks.
Every family is unique, of course, and no model will ever be entirely reflective of individual families and their experiences. But we hope it can become a useful, thought-provoking guide to navigating the challenges that come after signing a family constitution.
The journey so far
Before discussing these challenges, it’s worth recapping briefly on the journey so far. Upon signing a constitution, a family has achieved a significant milestone – one that has potentially involved an extensive, challenging emotional journey.
Beliefs, values, and experiences may have been explored and interrogated. Frank, open conversations about business roles, access to wealth, and asset management may have been held. It is no wonder, therefore, that a family – both elders and juniors alike – may experience a mixture of satisfaction and exhaustion upon signing the constitution.
After all, like a high-performance athlete or sports team, the family has achieved a significant milestone, and reached the end of a momentous, transformative journey.
Exploring the Post-Signature Blues
Like these athletes and teams, a family may experience an anti-climax after reaching success.
The intensity that propelled them forward while drafting the constitution may give way to a sense of emptiness. They may even need to pause and recalibrate their identity, or question their roles in the family’s next chapter.
Separately, a family may also begin to realise that a family constitution is more than just an abstract discussion. It is a permanent, concrete commitment – potentially to new roles, responsibilities, and behaviours. This may cause shifts within the dynamic of the family, leading to uncertainty or loss of identity, as each member adapts to their new role within the family structure.
Anxiety around implementing the constitution’s terms may also appear, much like an athlete may worry about maintaining their performance. Practical questions around the agreements (and the family’s ability to uphold the ideals behind them) may add to this sense of trepidation.
To navigate the Post-Signing Blues, a family must recognise and prepare for challenges ahead. Much like athletes rely on their coaches, families can benefit from the support of trusted advisors. After all, a constitution is more than a legal document – it is a living framework that requires steady support and continual reaffirmation.
Introducing the Family Legacy Cycle
Like scaling a mountain, implementing a constitution is a journey with highs and lows, across a wide spectrum of emotions, requiring both systemic changes and personal transformations. Understanding this from the start gives family members a grounded, realistic perspective, helping to manage expectations and counter potential resistance, while simultaneously fostering a stronger sense of mutual support and alignment throughout the process.
To navigate this terrain proactively and effectively, let us introduce the Family Legacy Cycle:
As you can see, the cycle moves between the planning and implementation of a family constitution – and, while not a perfect mirror, is not dissimilar to an economic cycle of expansion and contraction.
Now let’s explore the four phases in more detail – and explain how they can add depth and insight to the intricate process of building and sustaining a family legacy.
Phase one: the Rising Cycle
Gathering to shape a collective vision
This is the beginning of the journey, similar to when an economy starts to expand – and optimism reigns supreme.
It’s often led by the elder generation, who either built or inherited the family wealth, and who have decided to initiate the wealth planning process. (Involving – to varying degrees – the younger generation.) And, as the family begins this drive for strategic planning, external factors like global economic trends and market uncertainties will also influence the discussion.
But is the family ready for the discussion? This is a fundamental question to resolve.
In our experience, if there is a lack of alignment or enthusiasm – due to systemic dysfunction, or unresolved tensions – then it is imperative that a family invests in repairing their relationships. This might involve clearing past grievances, engaging in conflict resolution, and rebuilding trust.
After this preliminary phase, and once these foundational issues are resolved, a family will experience a newfound engagement, across the generations. New ideas and aspirations will emerge – from the younger generation, and collaboration with advisors. This phase is not without its challenges, of course, but overall the opportunity to discuss and ask questions leads to a greater desire to formalise the family’s vision.
But a note of caution: despite – or sometimes because of – this enthusiasm, it is critical to ensure that the dialogue is sufficiently deep. Discussions should thoroughly explore each individual’s positions, perceptions, visions, and concerns. What’s more, the existing family dynamics and structures should be consciously addressed. Otherwise, the loudest voices may be the most dominant, and the chance for genuine, intergenerational dialogue lost.
Facilitators can play a crucial role in avoiding this. They can ensure the process is comprehensive and inclusive, but also forward-looking and goal-oriented. They can make sure different voices are heard, without losing sight of the overall objective. Ultimately, they can foster a positive environment, where discussions are constructive – even joyful and meaningful.
Towards the end of the Rising Cycle, the family begins to consolidate their plans, laying the foundation for what’s to come. This sets not only the tone for the rest of their journey – but potentially their legacy for generations.
Phase two: the Stagnation Cycle
Moving to signing and implementing the constitution
Phase three: the Declining Cycle
Tackling operational and relational changes
In this phase, similar to an economic downturn, families face tangible implementation challenges – with a combination mix of practical, emotional hurdles along the way.
This phase can be marked by generational tensions, as younger members adjust to new roles (and elders adjust to changes). Entrenched family dynamics and behaviours can add to the complexity, making this the most challenging phase of the journey.
At this point, we must acknowledge a fundamental truth of human psychology: our brains are hardwired to seek comfort and immediate gratification. It’s a tendency that makes resistance to the significant changes proposed by a family constitution more likely.
When family members experience discomfort during this phase, it isn’t just due to practical challenges of implementation: it’s also a subconscious aversion to long-term commitments, and departing from familiar, established patterns.
Recognising this predisposition is key to helping families understand (and pre-empt) the challenges and slow progress they may encounter in this phase.
Alongside inter-generational challenges, a family may also need to adapt to rapid technological advancements and social changes, all of which can impact their business operations and investment decisions. In other words: there are multiple factors, both internal and external, to be considered in this phase. It demands careful, strategic navigation.
But while it’s important to focus on moving forward, it’s important not to rush, or be superficial in the approach. Swift movement can certainly reduce conflict and personal discomfort, along with disturbances to the business and wider family fabric. However, it’s important to balance this with a diligent, considered approach.
Every step should be taken with care and attention to detail. Otherwise, important issues may be glossed over in the rush for progress. All family members, advisors, and stakeholders should commit together to a process that is both expedient, and comprehensive. They should move forward decisively, while giving adequate time and attention to each aspect of the transition.
Even with such an approach, there remains a risk of regression, as family members cling to old ways of doing things. Without clear implementation protocols addressing governance and relationship dynamics, supported by coaching and mentoring, these challenges can be exacerbated, leading to standstill.
Emotional dynamics are particularly pronounced during the Declining Cycle. Aside from inter-generational issues, sibling rivalries and the relationship between extended family members, advisors, and other stakeholders can make things more complex. Emotional resilience and patience are essential as the family carries out this recalibration.
And yet: developing and implementing these clear protocols, alongside effective conflict resolution and role adjustments, can help facilitate a shift for the better.
These protocols can serve as a roadmap, providing structure and clarity for the future, and counteracting the natural tendency towards comfort and immediate gratification. By setting specific, tangible targets – both overall and interim – these protocols not only demystify the process but also foster a sense of accomplishment and forward momentum.
This makes tackling the challenges more rewarding and enjoyable, but it brings a sense of relief and fulfilment to the elder generation. Simultaneously, it instils joy and pride in the younger generation as they witness and contribute to the successful transition. The family’s journey becomes imbued with motivation and satisfaction, transforming the process into an opportunity for growth and success. Defined roles and concrete steps further clarify the process, rendering the transition less daunting. Each goal achieved not only stands as a testament to the family’s resilience and commitment, but also enhances the overall experience of working collaboratively towards a unified purpose.
Such an approach promotes a gradual return to harmony, both within the family and business. This isn’t just a return to a previous equilibrium: it represents a transformation, reflecting improved emotional dynamics, and the governance of family, business, and investments.
Phase four: the Recovery Cycle
Adapting for harmony and prosperity
The Recovery Phase is a transformative one for a family, marked by more stable family and business operations – similar to an economy reaching maturity. It is characterised by perseverance, effective conflict resolution, and the rebuilding of unity and common purpose. It also unlocks potential for growth, entrepreneurship, and innovation, opening doors to new opportunities in business, philanthropy, and personal development.
This phase can also encourage the family to consider its environmental impact and role within the wider community, helping to align their legacy to broader social expectations. The family lays a robust foundation for the future, ready to embrace the next stages of their journey with renewed energy and a stronger collective identity.
As the family transitions into this “new normal”, the principles and guidelines – once mere blueprints – become integral to daily operations. The family operates with a clear understanding of their constitution, fewer conflicts, and a well-defined governance structure.
What, then, happens next? Similar to a mature economy, bracing for potential downturns, the family maintains vigilance – safe in the knowledge that they are better able to seize new opportunities for expansion.
Continuous dialogue ensures they are ready for when the next generation comes of age, or significant life or business events arrive. This preparation enables the family to re-enter the cycle, ready to meet future challenges and opportunities.
Operationalising the family constitution: ensuring lift-off
In outlining the Family Legacy Cycle we have hopefully outlined what a successful outcome looks like. Now let us look at the opposite: what happens when a family constitution, like a precisely engineered rocket, simply fails to launch?
A family may have crafted a clear vision, steadfast values, and well-defined protocols.
But if those protocols lie dormant and unactivated, if new roles and responsibilities aren’t realised, the constitution can risk devolving into an artefact of unfulfilled aspirations. In other words, like that rocket, it remains static and useless on the launchpad, and never reaches the outer atmosphere.
This risks disengagement and disillusionment, particularly among younger family members who, having contributed to the dialogue, will have expected to actively shape the family legacy.
So, then: signing and launching a family constitution is both an emotional and a practical challenge. It is about the intricacies of human dynamics, and the necessity of real-world implementation. Without the latter, it risks becoming nothing more than wishful thinking.
Operationalising a constitution is a multifaceted process that transforms a strategic blueprint into a daily aspect of a family legacy. Success relies on its practical, comprehensive application across all areas of family life – including business operations and asset management.
It requires a plan – like a business plan – to provide a thorough assessment of the status quo, and to delineate a target structure to align with the family constitution.
The implementation journey is iterative and dynamic. It should begin with clear, immediate steps, like assigning new roles or updating legal instruments and legal structures. It should include long-term human capital strategies, like continual education programs, regular family meetings to review progress, and mechanisms for feedback and adaptation.
Ultimately, the implementation plan is not static: it must evolve as the family, business, and investment landscapes change.
In operationalising its constitution, the family also develops flexible strategies to respond to economic shifts, technological changes, and global events. This ensures their legacy remains resilient in the face of external uncertainties. What’s more, it helps sustain momentum and ensures the governance platform not only serves the family’s current needs – but also supports its future legacy.
Throughout this enriching and instructive journey, the family learns, grows, and strengthens its bonds. It builds not just a governance system, but a living legacy that will endure – informed by past wisdom and adaptable for future opportunities, creating a sense of shared accomplishment and forward-looking optimism.
The Conduct Formula: in practice
Let us return to the Robinsons, our fictional family who are moving through their own legacy journey.
In last month’s issue, we left the Robinsons in a moment of collective harmony: a family retreat had been held, and a shared vision was shaped.
But, as we have seen through the Family Legacy Cycle, a peak is invariably followed by a downturn. How will the Robinsons navigate the challenges ahead?
Echoes of the grandfather’s watch: the unseen challenges in the Robinson’s Family Legacy Cycle
During the retreat, a significant moment occurred: Daniel, the son, expressed disappointment that his grandfather’s watch was gifted to Sophie, his sister, on her wedding day.
This seemingly minor incident caught his parents, John and Emma, off-guard. Of what importance, they asked, is a simple wristwatch, compared to the larger questions of a family legacy? Yet this became a critical turning point in the retreat, leading to a transformative discussion that culminated in an agreement on transparent, equitable guidelines for future gifts. Even more importantly, it led to an apology for the unintentional misunderstanding, and helped propel the family towards a shared understanding of their constitution.
John had initially reacted with frustration, viewing Daniel’s focus on the watch as trivial compared to the larger legacy discussions. He felt his efforts to build a prosperous life for his family were being overshadowed by minor grievances – including, he admitted, his own resentment about financing Daniel’s lavish wedding to meet the expectations of wealthy in-laws.
But for Daniel, the watch was more than just a family heirloom: it symbolised his desire for recognition from his parents. He had worried that his choice to become an academic – a new path for the family – had marginalised him, particularly in the eyes of his father. By raising the issue of the watch, he aimed to assert his voice, and gain some control from his dominant father.
John’s monologues on the family’s legacy and values often left little space for other contributions – including from Emma, who had been essential in upholding family unity during tough times. In Daniel’s view, his intervention during the retreat was necessary to transform the dialogue into a more inclusive and equitable conversation. One that reflected the diverse experiences and aspirations of the entire family.
This confrontation led John and Daniel to address the unspoken emotions in their relationship. John shared the pressures of building a business and securing its future, subtly acknowledging envy for the opportunities available to his son which he, without an affluent upbringing, had been denied.
In return, Daniel shared his need for his father’s recognition and understanding of his own journey and choices. This delicate dialogue was skilfully navigated by facilitators Nathan and Ethan, underscoring the need to honour individual emotions while remembering the overall family legacy objectives.
Expressing and recognising each other’s perspectives and vulnerabilities led to a breakthrough. Mutual admiration and love was expressed, and apologies offered for any hurt caused. These seemingly small details, these little gestures and acknowledgments, helped catalyse a significant transformation. Such attention to detail was crucial in balancing overarching legacy planning with the consideration of individual emotional needs, and marked a key step towards genuine progress and innovation in the family dynamics.
Using the Conduct Formula to navigate the Family Legacy Cycle
The Robinsons’ experience shows how critical it is to balance wealth and relationships in planning. It also highlights a key element of the Family Legacy Cycle: the importance of evaluating and addressing the family’s readiness and awareness at each step of the journey.
It underscores the importance of considering each family member’s emotions and inner realities. Acknowledging these personal experiences is vital in influencing decisions – especially in emotionally charged areas like family dynamics, the sense of belonging, and wealth management.
Inner realities, though often hidden, must be thoughtfully integrated as families build their legacy. While these elements are crucial, they should not overshadow the larger picture of family legacy planning. The Conduct Formula demonstrates its value in this context by offering a fresh perspective, highlighting that legacy creation is a dynamic interplay between wealth and relationships. The formula enables families to disentangle these complex elements, providing a bird’s-eye view to identify areas of friction. Offering more than mere understanding, this approach equips families with practical tools to effectively address and resolve challenges. The resolution of the watch conflict serves as a prime example, showcasing the Conduct Formula’s effectiveness as a comprehensive tool for successful wealth planning, providing clarity and strategic insight in navigating familial challenges.
The road ahead
As the Robinsons’ constitution transitions from formal document to a dynamic force shaping their legacy, it becomes more than just a blueprint for behaviour, decision-making, and governance. It evolves into a living embodiment of their family’s values and aspirations, continuously shaping their journey and anchoring their legacy for future generations. This transformation exemplifies the potential and power of thoughtful legacy planning, offering insights and inspiration for other families on similar paths.
In our upcoming articles, we will explore in greater detail the different models families can employ in their legacy planning, across the intricacies of organising family dynamics, business operations, and investments.